Is It Good To Be “Forever Fierce”?
I belong to an amazing Facebook group called Forever Fierce: The Midlife Revolution, spearheaded by Catherine Grace O’Connell. Their first Forever Fierce Day is February 19, 2018. To celebrate, the group is asking women in midlife and beyond “What does it mean to you to be Forever Fierce in midlife and beyond?” The group promotes the idea that age doesn’t matter when it comes to women staying “fierce.”
I was surprised to be faced from the start with reactions against the word “fierce.”
As I asked my friends how they would answer that question, the first response I got was from Elaine.
Elaine
Elaine said she does not believe in being fierce.
“About the word fierce, I wouldn’t like a men’s group that called themselves fierce, and less a women’s group using that word. I like the gentleness that is traditionally attributed to women, although yes sometimes everyone has to be fierce, I guess. Although Jesus did say to turn the other cheek, for those who put stock in Jesus.”
Janet
“Angie, I’m considered ‘old age’ at 67, to the standards. So I’m past midlife but in short ‘Fierce’ is a very strong word. I would consider myself resilient and determined and not allowing anyone to forcefully control me. I make thoughtful and considerate decisions, the best possible choices for all those involved.”
When I was discussing with another friend that our children who are in their 20’s have a new meaning for “fierce” in the genre of “cool,” “sweet,” or “dope,” Janet said:
“That says it then. Age, security and matriarchal Love go hand in hand
For those 25 and under maybe ‘Fierce’ has a lesser connotation than for those of us over 60?”
She ended by saying, “Stay strong and determined, not fierce.”
Rosanne
“Turning 60 this week so I am definitely past midlife. Having a little trouble with this one. I don’t identify with the word fierce. I don’t see it as a positive word.”
I suggested we ask our 20-something children what the word “Fierce” means nowadays. I said it meant something like “the coolest.” My son, Chris, said, “The way that I hear it used means more ‘fearless, daring and confident’.”
Rosanne said:
When I asked what she meant by feeling less connected, she said that she didn’t know the new meaning of fierce until I told her. I said “generational differences don’t matter on this point. It’s about what you think.” Ultimately for Rosanne, the thought of being forever fierce just doesn’t resonate with her view of midlife and over.
Kathy
- Kathy, the retired teacher
“I think forever fierce sounds like how I feel about our country’s political situation. That we all need to fiercely resist and protect our country from internal and external attack!
I can’t say I feel especially fierce these days. I’m more mellow and less stressed since we downsized to a condo. The big house was wasteful for two people. Now I feel cozy. I also feel less materialistic. I look at how much stuff I’ve accumulated and it’s pretty appalling.
I’m not working but I’ve got the wardrobe still. I must have 30 sweaters, for instance. And wool pants I don’t wear but love. How do you edit all this to hone in on what you love? Not working means dressing differently. It can depress into sweatpants and t-shirts. Which is a seriously bad look. So some fierceness is required to pay attention! I think a full-length mirror is helpful. It’s a painful reality check sometimes that sends me back to the closet for an upgrade. But seriously. I find I can’t resist buying something new. And here sits this crazy closet. Stuffed with unworn clothes.”
Sin Der Ella
Now, on the other hand, most of the comments that I heard were very much in favor of being “Fierce.” Here’s a woman who is Forever Fierce, yet sweet at heart.
“Forever Fierce means doing, saying or wearing whatever makes you confident of yourself regardless of what others may think! Also…fiercely projecting a peaceful living spirit while the world around you goes mad!”
Cathy
“As women, we benefit from banding together. A voice is bigger in numbers, tasks are accomplished more swiftly with assistance. If I can be my fiercest self, it’s nothing compared to what I can do with the fierce help of my sisters!!”
Nancy
“Forever fierce makes me think of being, and feeling, empowered. Not compromising oneself to fit into a ‘box’. That confidence that comes with maturity. Being true to who you are.”
Jannuth
Jannuth is 65 years old and lives in Southeast Tennessee, North Georgia. This is what she said:
“I strive to be “Fierce in Mid-life” but what does that really mean? To me it means the following:
1. Making a commitment to be healthy in all areas of my life…(clean eating & exercising/yoga are just two)
2. Radiating joy…I desire to brighten the days of others…
3. Loving & Uplifting others…It may be the only positive word or compliment they receive.
4. Supporting the “Progress of Women” including justice for abused women & children…
5. Expressing positive thoughts and actions while seeing the glass half full…
6. Letting go of toxic things in my life for which I have little control…That is difficult but I am striving…
7. Learning various interests while increasing my brain power…I desire to play my piano and guitar while broadening my abilities with each instrument. Good music is missing from my life and that is about to CHANGE!!!!!
8. Traveling in the USA and abroad more. It serves as a great educational tool. I forbid any age now or in the future from stopping that !!!!
9. Setting goals…both little and big ones while striving to maintain each one…
10. Continuing to enjoy fashion as a way of feeling good about myself and having fun with design, color, and creativity…
11. Praying continually not just when trouble arises…
12. Place these as priorities: Faith, Family, Friends & New Friends
Being Fierce in Mid- life means connecting with women of like minds and learning from those who are different. It is about celebrating who we are and embracing every moment. We have a long way to go with equality but just by viewing British dramas from the 1950’s it is easy to see that we have come a long way, baby!!!!! May we as women never cease to applaud the achievements of one another. When we fail, may we be encouraged to proceed.
As C. S. Lewis states,
‘You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream.’
That is my motto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Patricia
“For me, now 72, creating a new beginning was indeed fierce.
I had my children young and therefore was still young when I became an empty nester.
To say I missed their presence in my daily life is an understatement, but on the other hand I was now free to do what was yet to be determined.
All that I dreamed of doing when I wasn’t able now became a challenge of mammoth proportion. All the confidence I once had went out the front door with my family.
I am happy to share my life as it is today. My home (villa) rests on the side of Mount Nevis, on the Caribbean island of Nevis. Situated at the foot of lush rain forest where monkeys along with year round colorful foliage provide a daily reminder of all that is beautiful in our troubled world.
Moving 3,000 miles from my original home in Canada and family 15 years ago wasn’t difficult and I find my relationships are better than ever with those I left behind.
Perhaps some will say I am ‘extreme.’ I am living my dream and although it took me half a lifetime and several years more to find the courage and confidence to fulfill that dream, I did it.
Life is a journey that doesn’t require a ticket. Enjoy every minute.”
All along, I felt that staying forever fierce was a good thing to strive for. The discussion of “Forever Fierce” here is revolving around the meaning of the term. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not an aggressive, forceful person. But, like my friends, I hold strong opinions. I also have taken the habit of realizing I could be wrong about the way I see things, and others can have a very good reason for their differing opinions.
I see the modern slang definition for the word “fierce” as the compliment it is used as today. It probably first started with Tyra Banks when she first said, “you look so fierce!” to comment on women’s fashion styles that she loved on her show.
I first heard it when I wore a black cape dress to the red carpet premiere of “Loserville,” a movie starring my son Chris. His co-star said to me, “You look so fierce!” I understood it as the compliment she meant it to be.
Catherine, who leads the Forever Fierce group, is very dynamic about her campaign to disrupt aging. I, myself, love the idea of disrupting aging. I love the idea of being able to turn back the biological clock and reverse aging. I would love to live for hundreds of years like a wise soul (or one hundred, anyway ;).
But “fierce” as a compliment is a new term created by the new generation. Other generations have always known the word as a menacing, fighting word. That definition is not how they want to see themselves, now or ever.
There are people who live life in a way that embodies the new meaning of fierce, and those who live softly in a gentle way. Everyone has their own, special and unique true self.
Although I understand the meaning implied by staying forever fierce, I understand what my friends are saying. Although I was surprised, there actually is another point of view on this. It seems to be generational semantics, but there is a gentler point of view. As Janet said, we can stay strong and determined and not necessarily do it in a fierce way. And I think that Baby Boomers would, of course, be the ones to see it that way.
So what do you think? Is it good for women to be Forever Fierce? What does it mean to you? Let us know in the comments below!
You might also like to read blog posts in my “Age Doesn’t Matter” category.
To see what other bloggers posted in answer to the question “What does being fierce in midlife mean to you?” visit the website Catherine Grace O.
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Great post-Angie! Love reading how you showed many sides. Fierce is different and different life stages. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Regan! Good point that “fierce” is not only perceived differently by the different generations, but the entire experience is different at different life stages!
I love that you showed both sides of the word “fierce”. I think the word doesn’t matter, as long as we embrace the feeling of being strong and forward thinking.
Yes, definitely! But some of the women felt that being gentle and loving were of ultimate importance, as long as they were still strong and determined. I think they were making a good point to keep in mind while we’re fighting for our place in this society.
Wow! What a fantastic varied array of thoughts and ideas on Fierceness! I love that all of these women so easily speak their thoughts and ideas even in questioning the term fierceness. This makes such a statement on how we’ve progressed! These women are confident in their skin. I loved reading this!
Thank you, Amy!
Very interesting to hear what fierce means to different women. Whether you identify with the word or not I think the message is still the same about midlife.
Debbie
styledesignmusings.com
Yes, exactly!
Great post and loved the versatility and your take on “fierce”. You have some lovely views and I enjoyed & appreciate your perspective!❤️💋
Angie, I also found this a very interesting take on the question posed! None of the women I asked even thought for a moment about the term “fierce” and simply answered the question. At first I was thinking maybe I featured women a bit younger, many in their early 40’s..but not so. I have featured women ranging in age from 30’s-60’s and all seemed to embrace the term fierce as a positive. Some friends whom I asked to participate declined on the premise that they did not feel fierce right now. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading the other side of this term! You have featured many inspiring women whom all have a story to share about their journeys into midlife. And all of our stories are important and meaningful!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Michelle, My first encounter was with Elaine who said she wouldn’t be able to participate because she didn’t believe in being fierce. But then a few more were discussing their problem with the word fierce, so I went back to Elaine and included her as she knew others were saying the same thing. It is interesting, isn’t it, that “fierce” is a new term embraced by most but there are women who see themselves as the gentler and kinder gender.
I absolutely love that you showed all sides in this post, Angie. Because it is a newer term to describe women, yet I think deep down we all embody it. It’s just not easy to realize that all of the struggles and experiences have made us fierce.
I think that’s the best part of this journey is finding how we are all so unique yet the same. We may call it different things and view it differently, but in the end we are all powerful women with a voice!!
Thanks for joining in after hearing that your group didn’t necessarily feel fierce. I think it’s a great perspective!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Thanks for your encouragement and support all along the way, Jodie! Whatever we call it, once we gain maturity we begin to truly know our strength. XO, Angie